Friday, January 30, 2009
My owners are always buying me cheap doggy treats. When I go to my puppy pals' houses, their owners give them fancy gourmet treats. I get so embaressed when they come to my house because my treats aren't anything compared to their's. Bentley, what can I do to let my parents know that I don't want the cheap treats anymore? I want the fancy ones like my pals get.
It's never good to follow a crowd. Just because your friends get fancy gourmet dog treats, it doesn't mean you have to. Your owners may not be able to afford the fancy treats. As long as you enjoy your treats, you should continue to eat them. Now, if you don't like them at all (the way they taste), stop eating them. Your owners will see that you aren't eating them and they'll likely switch your treats. You shouldn't feel embaressed because you don't eat the same type of fancy treats that your pals eat. If they make fun of you, then you shouldn't be pals with them in the first place. Thanks for seeking my advice and always remember to eat what YOU like, not what others like.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I'm tired of going outside in the freezing weather to take care of my business. When will it be warm again? This cold weather is miserable!
Hopefully it'll warm up soon. I don't like the cold weather either. My nose runs, my ears hurt, and my paws freeze. Usually my owners put my hoodie on before I go out in the cold weather. If you have a hoodie, you may want to drag it to your owners so they'll put it on you. I'm a BIG sniffer. I love sniffing things when I go outside. But now that it's so cold outside, I hurry up and take care of my business so I can go back inside and get warm :) From now on when you're outside, hurry up. Spring is just around the corner, so it won't be cold for too much longer. Before long, you'll be asking for popsicles. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I like to go to bed early, but my daddy stays up late. Really late!!! Until around 2:00 a.m. I don't like to go to sleep until he goes to sleep (I still get kinda scared). Since he stays up late, I'm forced to stay up late. What can I do to let him know that it's time for him to go to bed, so I can go to bed?
My owners like to stay up late too. What I do when I want some shut-eye is bark my head off. We live in an apartment, so if I bark my head off late at night, my owners could possibly get in trouble. So instead of taking the chance of getting in trouble, they get off of the computer and go to bed. That may work for you. Just remember to not bark so loud that your throat starts to hurt. That's happened to me more than once. Whatever you do, good luck!!! Thanks for seeking my advice.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Yesterday, I bit my vet. He was trying to put his hands in my mouth and I didn't like it ONE BIT! So, I bit him. Now I'm in trouble with my owners and the vet won't see me anymore. Have you ever bit your vet? Should I be in trouble?
That's not good that you bit your vet. Vets help animals. They want you to be well. I understand why you're in trouble with your owners but your vet shouldn't stop seeing you. When they choose to work with animals as a profession, they have to take the chance that they'll get bit. Maybe your vet will get over it and start seeing you again. If not, go to another vet. There's so many of them out there, and I'm sure you'll find one that's GREAT!!! Just try not to bite the vet next time. They're helping you, not hurting you. You should only use your teeth to bite people as self-defense. Not when they're trying to help you. I've never bit my vet. But if I ever did, it would be because he's trying to hurt me. I know he'd never do that though. He's really nice :) Good luck with your future vet experiences. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Monday, January 26, 2009
My owners and I just moved into a new house. Our new house has hardwood floors instead of carpet. I cannot stop slipping and sliding across the floor. It's really starting to freak me out! Do you have any advice on how I could make walking across these slippery floors easier?
I'm more comfortable walking on carpet too. Whenever I go to a place that has hardwood floors, it freaks me out at first then I finally get used to it. You just have to start off by walking across the hardwood slowly. If you run, you'll start slipping and sliding around. You may even run into a wall. Getting adjusted to new floors takes time. Before long, you'll be able to walk across your new hardwood floors with no problem at all. Good luck and thanks for seeking my advice.
Friday, January 23, 2009
The dog that lives below our apartment is driving me bonkers! He is always barking up a storm. Sometimes it's even as late as 2:00 a.m. His owner is this crazy lady who doesn't care what he does. She lets him bark and annoy us all. He really needs a good whoopin. Wait, no. She's the one that needs a good whoopin. I want to just let him have it the next time I see him. What do you suggest I do? He's a small dog, so I think I can take him :) Either way, this craziness has got to stop. The sooner the better (for us all).
Let him have it! You need your sleep and so does everyone else that lives there. It's ridiculous that his owner lets him carry on with this behavior. Then again, she sounds a bit looney herself. The next time you see him, scare the bajeezes out of him. If this won't work, take a big dump in front of their door. This will be a two-for-one surprise :) If the "crazy lady" still won't calm him down, leave her a big surprise by her car door. I bet that'll wake her up. If not, then her mind really is in outer-space. Who knows, maybe if she keeps all of this up, they'll get kicked out. Wouldn't that be so nice and peaceful? Your owners just need to keep complaining about them. Get all of your dog-buddies to have their owners complain too. Before long, it'll be "bye bye Crazy Lady" and "bye bye Crazy Dog". Whatever happens, good luck. I hope you start sleeping better. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
My owners are always buying me squeaky toys. They're so annoying! I usually destroy them within a few seconds. Then I get in trouble. I just don't like the sound of the squeaker inside of them. What can I do so I want get in trouble, but my owners will still keep buying me toys? I do love toys!
I have lots of squeaky toys but surprisingly they don't really annoy me that much. I guess my ears aren't as sensitive as yours. From now on, you should be more gentle with your toys. Maybe if you played with them in a way to keep them from squeaking, It'll be much better on your ears. When you tear your toys up, your owners may not understand why you're doing it. In the future, when they bring you a new squeaky toy, don't play with it at all. If your owners see that you're not playing with it, they'll know that you don't like it. Hopefully then they'll bring you new toys---toys without squeakers. Whatever happens, just remember how lucky you are that you have loving owners that'll buy you toys all the time. Most dogs aren't that lucky :( Good luck to you and thanks for seeking my advice.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My owners just left to get some lunch. As always, they've left me here alone. I love it when they take me through fast food drive-thrus, but today they decided to get all fancy and go to a sit-down place to eat. I still don't quite understand why they'd leave anyways. The fridge is full of food---I know because I peek in it all the time. Shh! Don't tell! Should I stay mad when they get home, or should I just let it go and be happy that they're back so they can play with me?
Some restaurants won't allow dogs. I know...things really need to change. After all, someday us dogs are going to take over the world :) Even though the fridge is full, they may still want to get out. You know how you feel when you've been inside all day and it feels SO GOOD to go outside? That's exactly how they feel. You shouldn't stay mad at them. If you get mad at them, it'll make them really sad. If you want them to play with you and take you on lots of walks, you have to be happy. This will make them happy. And believe me, happy owners are the BEST owners. They'll do and give you anything you want :) By the way, cheer up. They may bring you home a "doggy bag" full of leftovers. See, I knew that would get you excited! Thanks for seeking my advice.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My owners have recently switched my food. I've been eating the same food for the last few years, and it's so yummy!!!! :) I don't understand why they took my yummy food away and have given me this yucky stuff. What should I do? I want to eat it because no dog likes an empty stomach. But then again, it's so yucky!!!
It may be a good thing that your owners swapped out your food. Many animals, especially dogs like ourselves, can develop an allergy to specific foods---especially if you eat them for too long. Your new food may actually be healthier than the food you've been eating. That may be why your owners changed it. After eating the same food for so long, it'll take time to get used to the taste of something new. My advice to you is to start off my eating small portions, then you'll be eating bigger portions in no time!!! Remember, your owners have your best interest in mind. They only want you to have the best, even if the best doesn't necessarily taste the best. Good luck to you and your new food experience. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Monday, January 19, 2009
My owners are always messing with me. When I'm tired, all I want to do is sleep. When I'm finally asleep, they suddenly have to pick me up and play with me. Sure, I like the attention, but when I'm ready sleep, I just want to be left alone. Do you have any advice on what I can do to get a good night's sleep?
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My owners are the same way. I guess that's what we get for being so doggone cute! :) My advice to you is to hide. Go under a bed and sleep. Make sure you position yourself towards the middle so your owners can't reach you, but they'll still be able to see where you are. That always works for me and I hope it works for you too :) Good luck and I hope you get that good night's sleep you're asking for very soon. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Friday, January 16, 2009
My owners are going on vacation and I can't go. I've always gone with them everywhere, but this time--NO DOGS ARE ALLOWED! Since I've always gone with my family, I've never had to be boarded. I'm kinda nervous about the whole thing. Should I be nervous? What's this boarding thing like?
Fortunately, my owners have taken me everywhere with them too. If I can't go with them, then they just won't go. There should definitely be more pet-friendly places. I've never been boarded, but all of my pup friends don't like it one bit. My Aunt Goofey hates it! She runs and hides whenever she sees the suitcase. She doen't like spending the night (or days) at the pet motel. But she knows that it's much safer than staying home alone. Plus they food you :) What dog doesn't enjoy having a full belly??? Don't get too upset. You may have a few sleepless nights due to the howling dogs, but before you know it, your family will be back to take you home. They'll miss you as much as you've missed them. And who knows? They may even bring you home a surprise :) Good luck with your first (hopefully last) stay at the pet motel. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I used to spend most of my time sitting on my daddy's lap while he watched TV, ate, and even while he read his books. Now he always has his laptop on his lap. Oh how I wish he would put the laptop away so I can jump in his lap and get petted on. What can I do to get my daddy's attention again? I'll do anything.
I know exactly how you feel. I used to spend a lot of time in my daddy's lap, but not anymore. It seems like he always has his laptop on his lap. When he doesn't, he's usually playing video games. I'd give anything to get more attention from him. At least my mommy lets me sit in her lap all the time :) My suggestion to you is to just bark your head off. Let him know that you're not happy. Hopefully he'll see (and hear) just how upset you are and will put his laptop away and invite you to jump in his lap again. Good luck and thanks for seeking my advice.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Chester the cat here. My owners just brought home a new cat. Ever since my new "cat sister" has moved in, she's been causing lots of messes (ie. clawing furniture, shredding toilet paper, hanging from the blinds). Unfortunately, I'm the cat that gets ALL the blame. I want to set Misty (cat sister) up so that she'll get caught. Do you have any ideas of what I should do? I'm tired of getting in trouble EVERY SINGLE DAY!
It seems like girls are always getting away with EVERYTHING!!! If you want her to get caught, good luck!!! It'll take lots of hard work. Girls can be VERY sneaky. My advice to you is every time you see Misty causing messes, alert your owners IMMEDIATELY. This way they'll catch her in the act. If they're not home, there's really no way they can catch her. If you want to punish her, you could always wrap her up in toilet paper. Hopefully your owners will walk through the door to see this. Then they'll immediately think Misty was shredding the toilet paper....and she'll finally be punished :) You could also hide all of her toys until she promises you that she'll start behaving. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My owners just brought home a new fur kid. I've been the only child for so long and now I have a baby brother. I'm sad because now I have to share my toys, treats, food and my owners' attention. Is it normal to feel this way or am I just being selfish?
It's VERY NORMAL to feel this way. After all, a new addition to any family takes an adjustment. Luckily I don't have to feel your pain. My owners would never get another fur kid. They're too obsessed with me :) Sure, it's nice getting all of Mommy and Daddy's attention, but I must admit--sometimes I just want to be left alone. Let a dog sleep already!!! Maybe having another fur kid in the house will make your life easier. You'll have someone else to talk to and play with while your owners are away. Sharing toys won't be that bad. Just make sure you hide the ones that you don't want your new baby brother to tear up. Remember that your owners love you no matter what and that just because they've gotten a new fur kid, it doesn't mean they're replacing you. They're just spreading their love around :) So...no, you're not being selfish at all. Good luck with everything and have lots of fun with your new baby brother. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Monday, January 12, 2009
My mommy has a new boyfriend. I'm glad my mommy is happy but now I feel left out. I used to be her protector and best friend, but now she has someone else. I don't like it one bit! Will I ever get over this feeling?
Boyfriends will come and go, but you'll always be a big part of your Mommy's life. Don't let this get you down. Cheer up and realize that your mommy loves you more than anything. I know mine does. Also, if your mommy ever brings home someone that you don't like, take a whiz on his shoe. You may be in trouble with your mommy, but I guarantee that you won't be seeing that guy friend of hers anytime soon :) If he's smart, he'll stay away. Far, far away! He'll realize that he has no business taking your mommy away from you. On the plus side, your mommy could bring home a GREAT guy--someone that'll feed you lots of tablescraps and play fetch with you in the backyard. No matter what, your mommy will never stop loving you. So there's no reason why you should feel left out. It's GREAT that your mommy is happy. This will make her playtime with you---all the more better! So to answer your question---yes, you'll get over this feeling! Good luck and thanks for seeking my advice.
Friday, January 9, 2009
A new family just moved in next door. They have a really pretty dog and I can't quit staring at her through the window. I really want her to be my girlfriend. Boy, would all the other dogs be jealous!!! What should I do to get her attention? I really want her to like me.
If you want her to notice you, you have to introduce yourself. The next time you see her outside, make a break for it and escape through an open window (just don't go away too far and stay away from the street). Run over to her and tell her how you feel. Then you could take her on a tour of the neighborhood, showing her off to all the other dogs. If she doesn't like you after an afternoon of fun, then do what I'd probably do. Tell her that you think she has it going on...and then give her the biggest smooch (make sure you eat a mint-flavored biscuit beforehand). Then if she shows no interest in you, move on. She's obviously not worth it, and why waste another smooch on her when you could smooch on another lovely dog. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you lots of luck. Women are so hard to understand sometimes. Ok...most of the time. Hopefully you'll have better luck than I do. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
My owners are ALWAYS making me be in dog shows. I'm getting really tired of it! I've already won so many blue ribbons and I don't understand why I have to keep being in shows. What should I do to make my owners stop? I just want to have a normal life.
Thank goodness my owners don't enter me in all those "prissy" dog shows. I'd hate having to get all prettied up just for a silly ribbon. It seems kind of ridiculous to me. If you don't want to be in dog shows anymore, just let them know. If they keep putting you in them, then do whatever you can to lose--bite the judges, pee on the floor, get dirty. If you start losing a lot of dog shows then your owners will have no choice but to stop entering you. It would just be a waste of their time and money. You may get punished in the beginning (ie. treats taken away, toys put up, etc.), but at least you'll be happier. I'd be happier too knowing that I didn't have to act perfect, keep clean, and be on my best behavior. After all, I'm a dog. Dogs are supposed to roll around and get dirty, not priss on a stage for rewards. What's this world coming to? Thanks for seeking my advice. Good luck!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Help! I'm out of control! Lately, it seems that I can't quit humping everything I see. I have to give everything my "humpadelic" attention. What's wrong with me? How can I stop? My mommy and daddy are starting to get mad at me.
I hump everything too! Ain't it GREAT to be a dog?! I have a special toy. Her name is Ginger and she's my girlfriend. Every night after dinner, I grab her by the head and bang her on the floor. Don't worry. She's a toy, so she can't feel a thing. I promise. After I beat her around for a few minutes, the humping finally begins :) Sometimes I even do flips while I twirl around on my head. What can I say? I'm VERY talented! My mommy and daddy used to always get mad at me, but now they call it "free entertainment". However, if I do it in front of company, I'll get in trouble. But sometimes I just can't fight the urge. I'm sure you know what I mean :) From now on if you feel the urge to hump something, do it. Do what makes you happy. I can honestly tell you that humping my stuffed toy Ginger makes me VERY happy and there's absolutely no way that I'll be quitting anytime soon. Thanks for seeking my advice.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I get a lot of people food and a treat every time I go out and do my business. I'm house trained and go on frequent walks, yet I still pee in mommy’s' bedroom. The treats are almost expected now and not really an incentive anymore? Help! What can A dog do? Thank you for offering your knowledge & wisdom!!
I know exactly what you mean. I used to get the “dribbles” every now and then too. Then…my mommy started taking me out all the time. Ha! Ha! I tricked her though. I could’ve actually held it, but I knew that all it took was a walk to the front door and she’d take me out. I also learned early on that the more I go out, even if I don’t do anything, I’ll still get a treat. Well…my mommy caught on to that. She limited the number of times I could go out a day. Just to show her how mad I was, I peed all over the floor. Mommy wasn’t happy at all! But she still didn’t take me outside 20 times/day. She also cut off my treat supply. I realized that it was finally time to start behaving, so I stopped peeing on the floor. This made my mommy happy and the treats started coming back. Some doggies have the “dribbles” and can’t hold it. Accidents will happen and your mommy knows that. This is why she isn’t punishing you by taking your treats away. What I was doing wasn’t an accident. That’s why my walks and treats were taken away. My advice is to ALWAYS let your mommy know when you need to go out. If she ignores you, bark really loud. My mommy sometimes ignores me when she’s watching TV or on the computer, so I bark my head off! Also, when you’re outside with your mommy, don’t let her bring you in UNTIL you’re completely finished. Sometimes when I’m outside, my mommy wants to come in too early. After all, a dog has to sniff for a while before doing its business. Finally, don’t drink a lot of water right before bed. Let your mommy know that she needs to put your water bowl out of reach right after you go outside before bedtime. Your mommy needs to be consistent and develop a routine. The new routine will take a while to get used to and you may have a few accidents along the way, but you should eventually stop having these accidents. Before you know it—the accidents will stop, the treats will keep coming, and your mommy will be very happy to have dry floors. Hope everything works out. Thanks for seeking my advice. Good luck!
Friday, January 2, 2009
My mommy has lost it! I'm a boy dog and she always feels the need to dress me in frilly clothes and paint my toenails. I feel like such a sissy and all the other neighborhood dogs laugh at me. Help! What can I do to make her stop?
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mommy used to dress me up like a sissy too and I hated it. Let's just say that mommies can be a bit crazy at times, or at least mine can (shh, don't tell her I said that). I have a complete wardrobe stashed away in my very own closet. The day I saw my mommy bring me home a bathrobe with a rubber ducky on the back, I knew that enough was enough. Everytime she goes to that closet, I run and hide under the bed. If she tries to put clothes on me, I growl until she decides to back off. After all, I do need my space. I guess my mommy finally got the hint because she no longer tries to dress me. What can I say? My mommy can be quite obsessive with me, but there's NO WAY I'm going back outside dressed like a girl. No way! Thanks for seeking my advice. Good luck!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I was snooping around last night and overheard my owners say that they were going to have me fixed. I'm very confused right now because I don't even know what that means. Should I be scared? Help!
Oh Max! Oh Max! Oh Max! What can I say? There was a time that I overheard my owners say the same thing, and the next morning I was on the operating table as the veterinarian began to snip away. You know that little sack that dangles between your back two legs and looks like tonsils? Well, that's what most dogs refer to as their "goods". I used to refer to them as my "marbles". After all, I'm such a little guy. What'll happen is you'll go into the veterinarian's office with your "goods", but you'll leave without them. The doc will snip them right off with a very sharp pair of scissors. But don't worry. They'll give you a magic potion that'll help you sleep right through it. You won't feel a thing. I promise! However, be prepared to hear other dogs laugh and giggle at you. If they see that you no longer have your "goods", they'll make fun of you until you start bawling like a baby. They sure did make fun of me. I felt like such a sissy! I'm just glad that it's over and I'll never have to go through it again. Thanks for seeking my advice. Good luck!