Friday, January 23, 2009

Disturbing Dog Downstairs

Dear Bentley,

The dog that lives below our apartment is driving me bonkers! He is always barking up a storm. Sometimes it's even as late as 2:00 a.m. His owner is this crazy lady who doesn't care what he does. She lets him bark and annoy us all. He really needs a good whoopin. Wait, no. She's the one that needs a good whoopin. I want to just let him have it the next time I see him. What do you suggest I do? He's a small dog, so I think I can take him :) Either way, this craziness has got to stop. The sooner the better (for us all).


Dear Pete,

Let him have it! You need your sleep and so does everyone else that lives there. It's ridiculous that his owner lets him carry on with this behavior. Then again, she sounds a bit looney herself. The next time you see him, scare the bajeezes out of him. If this won't work, take a big dump in front of their door. This will be a two-for-one surprise :) If the "crazy lady" still won't calm him down, leave her a big surprise by her car door. I bet that'll wake her up. If not, then her mind really is in outer-space. Who knows, maybe if she keeps all of this up, they'll get kicked out. Wouldn't that be so nice and peaceful? Your owners just need to keep complaining about them. Get all of your dog-buddies to have their owners complain too. Before long, it'll be "bye bye Crazy Lady" and "bye bye Crazy Dog". Whatever happens, good luck. I hope you start sleeping better. Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,