Please don't make me wear that!!!

Dear Bentley,

My mommy has lost it! I'm a boy dog and she always feels the need to dress me in frilly clothes and paint my toenails. I feel like such a sissy and all the other neighborhood dogs laugh at me. Help! What can I do to make her stop?

--Baxter--

Dear Baxter,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mommy used to dress me up like a sissy too and I hated it. Let's just say that mommies can be a bit crazy at times, or at least mine can (shh, don't tell her I said that). I have a complete wardrobe stashed away in my very own closet. The day I saw my mommy bring me home a bathrobe with a rubber ducky on the back, I knew that enough was enough. Everytime she goes to that closet, I run and hide under the bed. If she tries to put clothes on me, I growl until she decides to back off. After all, I do need my space. I guess my mommy finally got the hint because she no longer tries to dress me. What can I say? My mommy can be quite obsessive with me, but there's NO WAY I'm going back outside dressed like a girl. No way! Thanks for seeking my advice. Good luck!

Barkingly yours,
Bentley