Friday, January 9, 2009

Love at First Sight

Dear Bentley,

A new family just moved in next door. They have a really pretty dog and I can't quit staring at her through the window. I really want her to be my girlfriend. Boy, would all the other dogs be jealous!!! What should I do to get her attention? I really want her to like me.


Dear Caesar,

If you want her to notice you, you have to introduce yourself. The next time you see her outside, make a break for it and escape through an open window (just don't go away too far and stay away from the street). Run over to her and tell her how you feel. Then you could take her on a tour of the neighborhood, showing her off to all the other dogs. If she doesn't like you after an afternoon of fun, then do what I'd probably do. Tell her that you think she has it going on...and then give her the biggest smooch (make sure you eat a mint-flavored biscuit beforehand). Then if she shows no interest in you, move on. She's obviously not worth it, and why waste another smooch on her when you could smooch on another lovely dog. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you lots of luck. Women are so hard to understand sometimes. Ok...most of the time. Hopefully you'll have better luck than I do. Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,