Friday, January 30, 2009

I want the GOOD stuff...

Dear Bentley,

My owners are always buying me cheap doggy treats. When I go to my puppy pals' houses, their owners give them fancy gourmet treats. I get so embaressed when they come to my house because my treats aren't anything compared to their's. Bentley, what can I do to let my parents know that I don't want the cheap treats anymore? I want the fancy ones like my pals get.

--Roxy--

Dear Roxy,

It's never good to follow a crowd. Just because your friends get fancy gourmet dog treats, it doesn't mean you have to. Your owners may not be able to afford the fancy treats. As long as you enjoy your treats, you should continue to eat them. Now, if you don't like them at all (the way they taste), stop eating them. Your owners will see that you aren't eating them and they'll likely switch your treats. You shouldn't feel embaressed because you don't eat the same type of fancy treats that your pals eat. If they make fun of you, then you shouldn't be pals with them in the first place. Thanks for seeking my advice and always remember to eat what YOU like, not what others like.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Brrrrrrrr!!!!! It's COLD outside!

Dear Bentley,

I'm tired of going outside in the freezing weather to take care of my business. When will it be warm again? This cold weather is miserable!

--Neko--

Dear Neko,

Hopefully it'll warm up soon. I don't like the cold weather either. My nose runs, my ears hurt, and my paws freeze. Usually my owners put my hoodie on before I go out in the cold weather. If you have a hoodie, you may want to drag it to your owners so they'll put it on you. I'm a BIG sniffer. I love sniffing things when I go outside. But now that it's so cold outside, I hurry up and take care of my business so I can go back inside and get warm :) From now on when you're outside, hurry up. Spring is just around the corner, so it won't be cold for too much longer. Before long, you'll be asking for popsicles. Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My Daddy "The Night Owl"

Dear Bentley,

I like to go to bed early, but my daddy stays up late. Really late!!! Until around 2:00 a.m. I don't like to go to sleep until he goes to sleep (I still get kinda scared). Since he stays up late, I'm forced to stay up late. What can I do to let him know that it's time for him to go to bed, so I can go to bed?

--Charley--

Dear Charley,

My owners like to stay up late too. What I do when I want some shut-eye is bark my head off. We live in an apartment, so if I bark my head off late at night, my owners could possibly get in trouble. So instead of taking the chance of getting in trouble, they get off of the computer and go to bed. That may work for you. Just remember to not bark so loud that your throat starts to hurt. That's happened to me more than once. Whatever you do, good luck!!! Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Oops! I bit the vet...

Dear Bentley,

Yesterday, I bit my vet. He was trying to put his hands in my mouth and I didn't like it ONE BIT! So, I bit him. Now I'm in trouble with my owners and the vet won't see me anymore. Have you ever bit your vet? Should I be in trouble?

--Dakota--

Dear Dakota,

That's not good that you bit your vet. Vets help animals. They want you to be well. I understand why you're in trouble with your owners but your vet shouldn't stop seeing you. When they choose to work with animals as a profession, they have to take the chance that they'll get bit. Maybe your vet will get over it and start seeing you again. If not, go to another vet. There's so many of them out there, and I'm sure you'll find one that's GREAT!!! Just try not to bite the vet next time. They're helping you, not hurting you. You should only use your teeth to bite people as self-defense. Not when they're trying to help you. I've never bit my vet. But if I ever did, it would be because he's trying to hurt me. I know he'd never do that though. He's really nice :) Good luck with your future vet experiences. Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley

Monday, January 26, 2009

Hardwood Horrors

Dear Bentley,

My owners and I just moved into a new house. Our new house has hardwood floors instead of carpet. I cannot stop slipping and sliding across the floor. It's really starting to freak me out! Do you have any advice on how I could make walking across these slippery floors easier?

--Cooper--

Dear Cooper,

I'm more comfortable walking on carpet too. Whenever I go to a place that has hardwood floors, it freaks me out at first then I finally get used to it. You just have to start off by walking across the hardwood slowly. If you run, you'll start slipping and sliding around. You may even run into a wall. Getting adjusted to new floors takes time. Before long, you'll be able to walk across your new hardwood floors with no problem at all. Good luck and thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley

Friday, January 23, 2009

Disturbing Dog Downstairs

Dear Bentley,

The dog that lives below our apartment is driving me bonkers! He is always barking up a storm. Sometimes it's even as late as 2:00 a.m. His owner is this crazy lady who doesn't care what he does. She lets him bark and annoy us all. He really needs a good whoopin. Wait, no. She's the one that needs a good whoopin. I want to just let him have it the next time I see him. What do you suggest I do? He's a small dog, so I think I can take him :) Either way, this craziness has got to stop. The sooner the better (for us all).

--Pete-

Dear Pete,

Let him have it! You need your sleep and so does everyone else that lives there. It's ridiculous that his owner lets him carry on with this behavior. Then again, she sounds a bit looney herself. The next time you see him, scare the bajeezes out of him. If this won't work, take a big dump in front of their door. This will be a two-for-one surprise :) If the "crazy lady" still won't calm him down, leave her a big surprise by her car door. I bet that'll wake her up. If not, then her mind really is in outer-space. Who knows, maybe if she keeps all of this up, they'll get kicked out. Wouldn't that be so nice and peaceful? Your owners just need to keep complaining about them. Get all of your dog-buddies to have their owners complain too. Before long, it'll be "bye bye Crazy Lady" and "bye bye Crazy Dog". Whatever happens, good luck. I hope you start sleeping better. Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley

Thursday, January 22, 2009

STOP The Noise!

Dear Bentley,

My owners are always buying me squeaky toys. They're so annoying! I usually destroy them within a few seconds. Then I get in trouble. I just don't like the sound of the squeaker inside of them. What can I do so I want get in trouble, but my owners will still keep buying me toys? I do love toys!

--Sam--

Dear Sam,

I have lots of squeaky toys but surprisingly they don't really annoy me that much. I guess my ears aren't as sensitive as yours. From now on, you should be more gentle with your toys. Maybe if you played with them in a way to keep them from squeaking, It'll be much better on your ears. When you tear your toys up, your owners may not understand why you're doing it. In the future, when they bring you a new squeaky toy, don't play with it at all. If your owners see that you're not playing with it, they'll know that you don't like it. Hopefully then they'll bring you new toys---toys without squeakers. Whatever happens, just remember how lucky you are that you have loving owners that'll buy you toys all the time. Most dogs aren't that lucky :( Good luck to you and thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,
Bentley