Thursday, January 1, 2009

I'm getting fixed! Am I broken?

Dear Bentley,

I was snooping around last night and overheard my owners say that they were going to have me fixed. I'm very confused right now because I don't even know what that means. Should I be scared? Help!


Dear Max,

Oh Max! Oh Max! Oh Max! What can I say? There was a time that I overheard my owners say the same thing, and the next morning I was on the operating table as the veterinarian began to snip away. You know that little sack that dangles between your back two legs and looks like tonsils? Well, that's what most dogs refer to as their "goods". I used to refer to them as my "marbles". After all, I'm such a little guy. What'll happen is you'll go into the veterinarian's office with your "goods", but you'll leave without them. The doc will snip them right off with a very sharp pair of scissors. But don't worry. They'll give you a magic potion that'll help you sleep right through it. You won't feel a thing. I promise! However, be prepared to hear other dogs laugh and giggle at you. If they see that you no longer have your "goods", they'll make fun of you until you start bawling like a baby. They sure did make fun of me. I felt like such a sissy! I'm just glad that it's over and I'll never have to go through it again. Thanks for seeking my advice. Good luck!

Barkingly yours,