Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A HUMPING DOG is a HAPPY DOG----"Always!"

Dear Bentley,

Help! I'm out of control! Lately, it seems that I can't quit humping everything I see. I have to give everything my "humpadelic" attention. What's wrong with me? How can I stop? My mommy and daddy are starting to get mad at me.


Dear Harvey,

I hump everything too! Ain't it GREAT to be a dog?! I have a special toy. Her name is Ginger and she's my girlfriend. Every night after dinner, I grab her by the head and bang her on the floor. Don't worry. She's a toy, so she can't feel a thing. I promise. After I beat her around for a few minutes, the humping finally begins :) Sometimes I even do flips while I twirl around on my head. What can I say? I'm VERY talented! My mommy and daddy used to always get mad at me, but now they call it "free entertainment". However, if I do it in front of company, I'll get in trouble. But sometimes I just can't fight the urge. I'm sure you know what I mean :) From now on if you feel the urge to hump something, do it. Do what makes you happy. I can honestly tell you that humping my stuffed toy Ginger makes me VERY happy and there's absolutely no way that I'll be quitting anytime soon. Thanks for seeking my advice.

Barkingly yours,